Unbeknown’st to you, dear prince, an avian of genus unknown hath struck.
And placed on thine back a kingly amount of air dropp’d faeces.
Such cruel fate that nightingale or lark hath chanced to mar your good fortune!
O, how bitter a thing it is to not knowest one bears copious droppings.
Monologues for fearless actors, No. 2.
Monologues for fearless actors, No. 1.
No skill at wit nor craft at jest could strong enough be to overcome the outrageous provocation of pants unsmoothed.