When it comes to the finite number of quiet evenings we have together, I hope you’ll join me in making them as Hitler-free as possible.
“Because of what you did to Ms. Hilton, other folks were hurt or placed in harm’s way. Ashlee Simpson might get a call reminding her that she’s a fraud perpetrating a joke on the song-downloading public. Ditto Lindsay Lohan. And Lauren Popeil, heiress to Ronco, might be hounded by people upset that her dad’s Food Dehydrator is a piece of crap.”
Our time together was brief, but somehow it seemed like an eternity. Perhaps because the image will be with us long after the earth is swallowed by a supernova.
When The King Of Kings Isn’t The King Of Comedy.
I’d appreciate a chance to explain the photos.
How not to advertise your new Chelsea hair salon.
For the Trekkie who hasn’t been rejected enough.
“In retrospect, I should not have assumed in any way that your ability to win a song and dance competition, rodeo, obstacle course and home redecoration challenge would in any way be proof that you had talents, or indeed training, as a medical examiner.”
Why the “American Idol” vote was not “incredibly racist” and why Sir John should be quiet more often.
An appointment reminder that’s scarier than going to the dentist.
A patron is shocked by organized resistance.
An exciting ground floor opportunity.
Answering the question.
Got your Christmas Card. Ethan looks adorable. I was going to make some joke about him looking more like the postman, but that’s as tired as Joan Rivers. Plus, he really does look like my postman so I don’t want to cause any trouble. Hope all is well with you and the family. I’m sure…
I am not certain of the circumstances that will lead to you, the cyclist, being beaten by me, the pedestrian, because I am writing this letter in advance. First off, I would like to offer my apologies for the beating, and say that when it occurs it will be a spontaneous event, not pre-meditated or…
For starters- Paris Hilton is totally dead! But enough about Paris Hilton.
For those who’ve had enough celebrity fluff.
I’m tired of all ye Medieval freakes trying to tell me how great the Medieval times are. Well, I’m there right now and I can tell you that it’s a whole bunch of crap, for certain. I just buried my fourth wife for starters. I lost my first Katherine to complications of childbirth, the second…