Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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To The Staff of Naked Ladies Magazine

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that this will be the last issue of Naked Ladies magazine. When my father founded Naked Ladies in 1969, he was a trailblazer. There were magazines, of course, but none that featured naked ladies. He saw an opportunity and he went for it. Naked Ladies was…



Heil! Please Log In.

We’ve all gotten used to CAPTCHA’s requirement that we enter in random words like “lemon catapult” to prove that we’re not robots. But this one was odd because it made me think of Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels. Definitely more interesting than lemon catapults, but much more creepy. Especially since “goebel” isn’t a word in…




Banterist Gets A Mashable Shout Out, Which I Am Told Is Good

An old Banterist post, Facebook in the Fuhrerbunker, made Mashable’s Top 5 Funniest Fake Facebook Pages list. This was the first I’d heard of Mashable – though that means absolutely nothing because I didn’t know who Jon and Kate were until last week when someone made a point to tell me. Now I see that…







Petition: More Non-Lame Places On Blue Marlin Apparel

After browsing though a rack of Blue Marlin clothing, it’s obvious what the problem is: The Baltic and Scandinavian states are under-represented. Everyone loves Australia and New Zealand, can’t go wrong there. Eastern Europe has great beer and hot chicks – why no hoodies? And let’s not forget Taiwan, which will some day be a collector’s item.





Dear Person Who Hacked Paris Hilton’s Cell Phone

“Because of what you did to Ms. Hilton, other folks were hurt or placed in harm’s way. Ashlee Simpson might get a call reminding her that she’s a fraud perpetrating a joke on the song-downloading public. Ditto Lindsay Lohan. And Lauren Popeil, heiress to Ronco, might be hounded by people upset that her dad’s Food Dehydrator is a piece of crap.”