Grammar Cop

Grammar Cop: Blindside

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Complaint: Misdemeanor spelling of “Treatments”; Misspelling the name of your own business; Making your misspelling permanent by affixing it to the side of a vehicle.
Defendant: Horizon Window Treatments.
Report: Officer was in patrol vehicle (taxi) when defendant pulled alongside vehicle and proudly advertised his misspelled business.
Fine: $110

Grammar Cop: Glass Dismissed

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Complaint: Misdemeanor spelling of “renovations.”
Defendant: A store being renovated which was closed yet offered something at 20% off.
Report: Officer spotted crime on window across from park where attention-starved “magician” David Blaine had stood on a pillar for a few boring days.
Fine: $35

Grammar Cop: Spell Check

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Complaint: Misdemeanor spelling of “storage”; Misdemeanor usage of third person singular present indicative (is) instead of third person plural present indicative (are); Misdemeanor splitting of “overnight” into two words.
Defendant: Overpriced coat check at Jacob Javits Center.
Report: Large, intrusive sign caught attention of officer as he paid too much to check his coat.
Fine: $85

Grammar Cop: Big Mistake

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Complaint: Misdemeanor spelling of food product.
Defendant: Street vendor outside American Stock Exchange
Report: Officer was giddy over the discovery of incorrect punctuation on an American Stock Exchange doorway when he discovered street vendor peddling improperly named hot dog/mystery meat product.
Fine: $35

Grammar Cop: Fare-ly Stupid

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Complaint: Misdemeanor spelling of your own company’s name (multiple counts); Misdemeanor spelling of your own company’s name when the correct name is engraved nearby (multiple counts).
Defendant: KGT Bumper Guards
Report: Officer was seated in the back of a New York City taxi cab when he noticed “Bumber Guards” sticker on the taxi compartment partition. Officer at first thought that the name was purposely misspelled, since no one could be that stupid. Officer then noticed the correctly spelled “KGT Bumper Guards” engraved into the partition not more that eight inches away. Realizing this was pure gold, he then took a photo which distracted the driver and got him yelled at.
Fine: $450

Grammar Cop Hits The Street

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Complaint: Misdemeanor spelling “Cookiees”, Misdemeanor spelling of Rice Krispie when proper product spelling is readily available on packaging.
Defendant: Taylor’s Bakery
Report: Officer witnessed suspect sign after enjoying a delicious Italian hero and small coffee. No witnesses, but officer suspects it may have been the cute but tattoo-covered counter clerk.
Fine: $35