Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Fatherhood Dispatch




Book: Struwwelpeter (Shock-Headed Peter)

A little over 150 years ago a German father decided that there were no good books to read to his son and endeavored to write and illustrate his very own. There were several lessons he aimed to teach his child and, being German, he didn’t beat around the bush. The lessons included things like: If…


Children’s Shows I’d Like To See

Captain Reality and the Truthbots Captain Reality travels the planet in his ship The Decoddler with his gang of non-bush-beat-arounding Truthbots and tells kids that we’re not all great or special and in fact some of us are horribly flawed. Dora’s Parents Dora’s mother and father finally appear and prevent their daughter from wandering the…




Me vs. Sesame Place

That prior to incident, plaintiff had a long-term childhood relationship with Sesame Street, fond memories of Sesame Street, and considered Sesame Street a friend and by extension assumed Sesame Place was filled with friendly characters and honest Muppetry.



My First Sober Concert

The Wiggles consist of four men: Jeff, Murray, Greg and Anthony. They each have a color and a shtick: Jeff wears purple and is narcoleptic. Murray wears red and plays guitar. Greg wears yellow and likes to do magic tricks, like a non-gay David Copperfield. Anthony wears blue and overeats healthy things.



Message Threads From The Negligent Parent Forum

How can I stop my baby from teething? Where’s a good place to learn my kidren? How do u prevent malnourishment? Goats nipping newborn when he sleeps. Any suggs? My 7 year old wanta go to school she ready? WHAT FOODS ISN’T SOLID? Baby cold. Cry. Frostbite? Sleeping 38 hours solid and counting! Trying to…



Cats Do Not Like Change

With their preference for routine, it’s quite understandable that many cats are troubled by the appearance of new humans in the household. When presented with such dramatic change they react in one of two ways: 1) They hide under the bed or behind furniture, 2) They eat the dramatic change.