Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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Ask a Professor of War in the Modern World

risk.jpg
If we were monkeys we’d be content to throw poo and eat bananas all day. But we’re humans, and humans are curious. Whether we’re trying to determine what Willis was talking about, or who let the dogs out, we’re incessantly inquisitive. We want answers to our questions.
These days a lot of the questions we’d like answered are along the lines of “Iraq – what to do?”, “Iran – what to do?” or “North Korea – where that is?”
Every question deserves an educated answer as opposed to the uninformed TV soundbite, knee-jerk blog post or gruesomely biased editorials we’re used to. That’s where my friend Theo comes in.
Theo is a genius. He looks smart. He has glasses. He has a high class Irish accent and he teaches at one of the best universities in England – an old brick place filled with cashmere-sock-wearing intellectuals who would rather read an encyclopedia than sleep with a lady.
Theo has the greatest job title of anyone I know. His job title is Professor of War in the Modern World.
He can cheat at Risk yet still convince you it’s simply a proven strategic maneuver.
I can not tell you how much I’d like to have “Professor of War in the Modern World” on my business cards. But he earned it, I didn’t. He went off and got his doctorate in war. I barely earned a degree from film school. He lectures military types and writes about strategy. I do silly things in print and television.
Theo: PhD in Politics, Diploma in International Relations, MA in International History, BA History and Politics.
Me: BS degree in film acquired by sucking up to professors.
Theo: Wrote “Force and Legitimacy In World Politics” – Cambridge University Press.
Me: Wrote “Guide to Celebrity Stalking” – Radar magazine.
Theo: Spending two years examining military transformation in European states as part of the Economic and Social Research Council’s New Security Challenges Programme.
Me: Spent three minutes making fun of Glenn Beck’s ties on the Glenn Beck program.
As you can see, Theo is better than I in many ways, though I am taller and have perfect vision.
Theo offered to answer the kind of questions you’d want to ask someone with the job title Professor of War in the Modern World. Questions were forwarded and received a valuable, educated response by someone who does not have a discernible agenda other than being smarter than everyone when it comes to modern warfare.
Theo’s answers here.


Previously

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