From New York, a weblog of original humor by Brian Sack.
Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.
Work
Wherein I get schooled in the art of book interviews in the world's longest, oddest book interview.
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Yesterday was exciting. It began with the longest book interview in the history of radio and ended with me kicking two pedestrians to death.
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Today, April 29, is officially launch day for the book although a reader in West Virginia emailed me to say she got hold of it a couple days early. Always jumping the gun, West Virginia, you!
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Having a TV personality plug your book is an author's dream come true. Having him tell people to go to a library to read it? Not as much, but still it's mostly music to your ears.
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t's a shame the segment was only three minutes long because I could have told some great immigration & naturalization stories. In fact, I could fill a whole hour show with nothing but insight and complaining.
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Tonight is the debut of
Not Just Another Cable News Show on CNN Headline.
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Under heavy sniper fire, CNN Headline host Glenn Beck asks me questions about IN THE EVENT OF MY UNTIMELY DEMISE while I attempt to stay on message like a savvy politician.
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In early September I was asked if I'd consider hosting a morning show in Atlanta. I said no. Morning radio was something I'd wanted to try my hand at in the '90s when I actually lived there and worked for radio station 99X. It seemed like an unnecessary diversion at this juncture. Plus I'd have to leave New York and move to a city that has no water.
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I will be on CNN Headline's Showbiz Tonight offering insight on a topic I know next to nothing about: celebrities.
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Some select clips from my DAVE-FM morning show audition wherein we learn that the Pope is a Jew and that airline personnel are quite capable of setting your luggage on fire and not noticing.
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Discussed: Glenn's oratory panache, behind the scenes, bat crap, bat snot, shtick-blocking, Glenn suggests he may be illiterate, Glenn says "fart."
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I really like the way the color red screams
Achtung! at you. That's what you want in a cover - something that's roughly the equivalent of setting a small signal fire over in the corner of the book store. I have no doubts that this design will at the very least cause someone to go, "What the hell is that over there?" And really - getting a potential reader to say, "What the hell is that over there?" is the name of the game as far as I think I understand it.
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Discussed: Ron Paul, Angry Glenn, Crazy Glenn.
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The morning show tryouts were loads of fun. The station has a very advanced coffee-making machine that helped ease the pain of being up from 1-4am.
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For the next three days I'm here in a market that is, according to those in the know, terribly under-served in the radio morning show department. In a wise effort to correct that problem I've been tasked with seeing how I might put on a morning show.
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Discussed: Fall TV Preview, Dirty Sexy Money, Cane, Kid Nation, Viva Laughlin, Bionic Woman, Chuck, the word "mélange", and Cavemen.
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This past week the HaperCollins folks had meetings and made decisions, and on Friday I received the copyedited manuscript for IN THE EVENT OF MY UNTIMELY DEMISE, my book. This is a milestone of some sort: the writing part is essentially over. I merely need to look at the copyeditor's grammatical tweaks such as
whom not who and suggestions like
maybe lose the third paragraph. If I disagree with anything I can write "stet" in red pencil.
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The Public Viewer segment is unscripted. Instead, my producer Eric and I map out what we're going to talk about, and try to imagine the route we'll take to get to our planned bits by guessing what Glenn will say in the segment.
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Do you mind waiting for Billy Ray Cyrus? is a question I never thought I'd be asked. Nevertheless, he seems to have de-mulleted from his Achy Breaky days and I had no problem sitting back while he finished up in the studio.
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I interview Glenn Beck regarding his forthcoming book, "An Inconvenient Book" and then give him a very uncomfortable hug.
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Glenn Beck appearance. Topic: Politics.
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On the Glenn Beck show reminiscing about previous Public Viewer segments, inappropriate questions, Glenn giving detractors useful soundbites, transexuals and seamen.
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Having been given the new job title "humorist" I am now required to offer my opinion on things to CNN and others.
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Discussing the year anniversary of the show with Glenn, something most folks didn't think we'd get around to doing.
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In the interest of maximizing my productivity and meeting my deadline with HarperCollins - the kind folks who bought the book I am contractually obligated to deliver in two weeks - I locked myself in a house with no other humans, no internet and no TV for nearly two weeks. During that time I wrote quite a lot and learned many things.
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In the absence of new material (writing a book, you see) I am forced to reflect on old material. In this case, a reel of some highlights from my interview with John Mayer.
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Before 50 Cent was worth a nickel, he had to get his study on. My curriculum for the aspiring...
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Jolie, Damon, De Niro and King in the make-up room. A smoking baby, a popping baby and the bacon of the month club for Christmas.
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On the Glenn Beck program discussing the fate of any political candidates who appear on the show, and playing "Netanyahu or Bonaduce." And running out of time as always.
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A little thing I did for Cracked online....
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Interview with the Green Party's Howie Hawkins, and visual proof that Kevin Federline touched me.
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Alex Kaczynski in the makeup room, and an interview with Ed Forchion, Senate candidate and Legalize Marijuana Party member.
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How would Nostradamus have predicted George Michael's downfall?
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My "Public Viewer" segment on the Glenn Beck program. With technical boo-boos. And Andy Dick doesn't wash his hands.
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Topics: A Christmas Story, Pete Rose, Showtunes, Reason Magazine
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I am another blathering, blowhard, talking head on TV chattering incessantly about politics.
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John Bolton in the house.
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My article About Face, in the newly-launched Cracked Magazine.
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As seen on TV.
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As seen on TV.
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As seen on TV.
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As seen on TV.
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One of the great things about working on the Glenn Beck show is you never know when you might get sent to Fort Wayne, Indiana.
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As seen on TV.
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As the title implies, another appearance on CNN Headline.
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Another appearance on the Glenn Beck program.
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Another appearance on Glenn Beck.
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Appearance on CNN Headline's Glenn Beck show.
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The story of the pants heard 'round the world.
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What happens when you run four belief systems through Amazon.com's "Text Stats"?
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Please come see Johnny Berlin, a refreshing documentary directed by Dominic DeJoseph, executive produced by Michael Stipe and Jim McKay, and produced by Ted Green and Brian Sack.
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What happens when the world can edit the encyclopedia entry for Richard Gere?
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An attempt to comfort those reeling from high gasoline prices by exploring what other liquids cost by the gallon.
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Who's more seer-like, Nostradamus or The Bard?
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An original piece for Radar Magazine.
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An original piece commissioned by The Independent (UK). Humorous parts removed to satisfy space issues....
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THE BARE MIDRIFF
If the midriff hangs over the top of the pants, consider not exposing it until that doesn't happen any more. Because of egregious abuse, it is illegal to expose the midriff in Holyhead. The midriff is a privilege and not a right.
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An original piece in the Feb 2005 issue of Glamour. Reaching out to the ladies.
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Ashton wheels his beloved anywhere she wants to go without complaint, which would be pointless because her hearing went a few years ago. When they kiss, there is an electricity in the air, caused in part by Demi's polyester gown.
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Commissioned by London's daily newspaper, The Independent.
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Politics, over easy.
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Excerpts from the ongoing interrogation of Saddam Hussein. One of the most popular McSweeney's pieces.
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In an ongoing effort to further tarnish the Catholic church, I appeared on ABC's All My Children as a...
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