Banterist - Grammar Cop: National Don't Move Show at Javits Center

From New York, original humor & commentary by Brian Sack.
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Grammar Cop: National Don't Move Show at Javits Center

Defendant: The United States Postal Service

Count 1: Negligent spelling.

Count 2: Reproduction and distribution of grammatical malfeasance on federal property.

Report: Officer was attempting to mail a small package - a process made complicated, frustrating and time-consuming by the United States Postal Service. While standing in a line rivaling the size of Disney World's Magic Mountain attraction on a Spring Break holiday, officer noticed criminal signage (Exhibit A) and apprehended it digitally. Despite the length of time spent in line, officer was seemingly unable to take a decent photograph, which he blames on the iPhone's shoddy camera.

Fine: $110 worth of Simpsons stamps. Or a functioning automated teller machine in the lobby that can take the place of ten postal clerks by working efficiently, not stopping for lunch breaks, and communicating in English.

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Comments

I fail to see a problem. What could possibly be more stationary than the postal service? I presume that this is the event through which they demonstrate their stationaryness to the nation at large as well as their new symbol of purpose and identity
the Monarch Butterfly.

Posted by: Roger Habeck | May 17, 2010 5:08 PM

@Roger: I love the Monarch Butterfly being their "symbol of purpose and identity." -B.

Posted by: Brian | May 18, 2010 10:13 AM

What if the show really doesn't move and it's really called the National Stationary Show? And those stationary supplies-- they don't move by themselves, do they? But the butterfly is an ironic choice, given that it spends most of its life moving around.

Posted by: Wacky Hermit | May 19, 2010 5:11 PM

You jest, but we actually have an automated postal machine in the back of our post office. You were right; it is much more efficient. (And it speaks English.)

Posted by: Bruce | July 27, 2010 12:51 AM

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