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Banterist: Home > February 2008 > February 26, 2008

72nd Irrational Response Force

Irrational-Response-Force.jpg


02/03/08 - 0128 hours
IRF came under small arms fire while en route to new encampment site in Flajaba. Determined that fire was coming from a hilltop NW of position. Ordered Alpha company to flank while Bravo made a nest from twigs and discarded water bottles. Made PFC Ramirez "King for a Day" and set fire to what looked to be a tool shed.


02/08/08 - 1440 hours
Insurgent mortars landed SSW of encampment. Directed artillery toward suspected enemy position. Had Charlie company develop a patent for a new machine that spanks cats.


02/11/08 - 1020 hours
Made enemy feel like they weren't accomplishing anything by pretending to enjoy incoming small arms fire.


02/12/08 - 1322 hours
Ambush. Ordered Sgt. Scales to shush everyone in a 3km radius.


02/15/08 - 2244 hours
Skirmished with insurgents outside Flajaba. Told them Men Without Hats would be playing a free concert and they weren't invited. Established a perimeter of billboards containing Charlie Sheen anecdotes.


02/18/08 - 1723 hours
More mortar fire from NW. Had squad build mouseholes, which are like foxholes but smaller and inefficient.


02/22/08 - 1415 hours
Locals informed us of Qaeda members in a farm 6km from our base camp. Established what we hoped would be a renowned restaurant in an attempt to lure them with our signature truffle fries.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: Satire | 3 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Comments

I'm confused and I think the cats are offended but they are ignoring me.

Posted by: buckycatt | February 27, 2008 12:24 AM

I find myself with an unseemly desire for one of those badges!

Posted by: shadowgolem | February 27, 2008 5:05 PM

truffle fries?
is that a slick way of calling them french fries by using the term of truffles OR you are actually farting truffles INTO the fries?

Posted by: hemnebob | February 29, 2008 11:38 AM

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