Banterist - Grammar Cop: Teach Your Unwanted Pants Into A Baby

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Grammar Cop: Teach Your Unwanted Pants Into A Baby

Defendant: Kiducation

Count 1: Felony sentence construction.

Count 2: Grammatical malfeasance committed by an organization tasked with kiducating children.

Report: Officer Carter of the Rhode Island Auxiliary Grammatical Police Force spotted the infraction and easily apprehended the suspect as it was an immobile bin filled with old clothes and shoes. After the bin failed to satisfactorily connect the human reproductive process to pre-owned, educated clothing it was booked and photographed before being released on its own personal recognizance.

Fine: $450. Must stay 1000 yards away from children until the successful completion of a sex-ed/grammar refresher class.

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Dear Mr Banterist,
How do you set the fines for grammatical infractions? $450 seems either too high or too low for this level of stupidity but then again I've never been to Rhode Island.

glenn in Tulsa

[ It's completely random - like exit poll results. -B. ]

Posted by: glenn | February 1, 2008 4:34 PM

I had to read it four times, and I STILL don't know what it means!

Posted by: Heather | February 2, 2008 10:40 AM

Could someone with a degree in butchering the language translate this into English for the rest of us? This is too much for my properly educated brain to handle.

Posted by: Andi | February 2, 2008 5:21 PM

I'd really like to see the program pamphlet!

Posted by: Samantha Ana | February 8, 2008 9:56 PM

The first thought I had upon reading the sign was Pink Floyd's The Wall - "we don't need no kiducating..."

Posted by: jen | February 12, 2008 3:38 PM

Is Rhode Island a province of China? The circle of life is now complete. Children enter the sweat shop, clothing exits. Clothing ages. When clothing is too old, here it is transmutated into new children, and the cycle begins anew. Brilliant.

Posted by: Aaron | February 20, 2008 9:54 PM

This is not a related organization, but check the quote on the main page:

http://www.kiducation.ca/

Obviously a kidred spirit.

Posted by: Officer Carter | February 26, 2008 1:06 PM

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