Count 1: Felony sentence construction.
Count 2: Grammatical malfeasance committed by an organization tasked with kiducating children.
Report: Officer Carter of the Rhode Island Auxiliary Grammatical Police Force spotted the infraction and easily apprehended the suspect as it was an immobile bin filled with old clothes and shoes. After the bin failed to satisfactorily connect the human reproductive process to pre-owned, educated clothing it was booked and photographed before being released on its own personal recognizance.
Fine: $450. Must stay 1000 yards away from children until the successful completion of a sex-ed/grammar refresher class.
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From New York, where the educated am.
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