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Banterist: Home > June 2007 > June 29, 2007

More Recalled Chinese Toys

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Little Mommy Play All Day Toddler Doll
Only plays half day before shooting strychnine spikes at your child.

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Lightning McQueen Twin Race Car Bed
Bed implodes when exposed to FM radio waves.

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Little Tikes Shopping Cart
Razor-sharp chlorine wheels release toxic gas when exposed to water.

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Tekno Dog
Leads children to sockets.

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Connect Four
Checkers smolder when exposed to youth.

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The Farmer Says
Animals issue Fatwas.

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Pretend and Play Doctor Kit
Breakable plastic pieces packaged in bird flu.

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Fisher Price Chatter Telephone
Phone summons Chinese assassin.

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Bedtime Dora The Explorer
Shouts in Spanish; convenes hastily-assembled tribunal prone to issuing death sentences.

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Jay Jay Wooden Jet Plane
Crushes child's windpipe when removed from packaging.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: In The News | 5 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Comments

...and then there's Ethnic Cleansing Bear:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skSksoO9Fek&NR=1

Posted by: travelina | June 29, 2007 10:43 PM

This explains a lot. After 39 years, I finally know why I've been hounded by that Chinese Assassin. Thanks Banterist!

Posted by: Tommy | June 30, 2007 1:53 PM

You are a very funny man. I hope you dont mind, I linked your post about squat toilets... we're travelling through Malaysia at the moment, and my gf has had the misfortune.....

Posted by: Leigh | July 2, 2007 10:27 AM

You neglected to mention that each of the toys above, despite their other flaws, also begins with the instruction "Assemble in mouth."

Now that can't be safe.

Posted by: lowlights | July 3, 2007 12:47 PM

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