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Excerpts from Almost Wise

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ALMOST WISE: My Four Years Not Being Inducted Into The Trevisani Crime Family


p.28
Later that week I was summoned to a meeting with Louis "Chops" De Luca. It was there I learned that I would soon not be inducted into the mob.

p.63
Endrizzi disappeared for good soon after - presumably whacked by his own crew on orders from Napolitano. Of course I wouldn't know as I was never inducted into the mob, but that's what I heard from Benito "My Barber" Fanucci.

p.88
I knew being in the mob takes its toll on a marriage, but since I hadn't been inducted I began to wonder if maybe she was just tired of me.

p.102
Every Thursday they'd gather in the back of Alberto's for a grand dinner and meeting. There, one could bring up any grievances he wanted to have addressed. I intended to bring up the fact that I hadn't been inducted into the mob, but I wasn't in the mob so I wasn't invited to Alberto's for a grand dinner and meeting.

p.122
With the flood of arrests and prosecutions I began to consider going underground until things cooled off. Then I remembered that I had not been inducted into the mob, and continued sweeping.

p.140
It had been only three years since I was not inducted into the mob, so Gotti most likely did not perceive me as a threat. I was still safe.

p.166
It's all about being respected, feared, connected. To stroll into a joint and have folks eager to make you happy, to want you to like them - that's what it's all about. So I hear.

p.202
If Tony Buccho had one passion in his life it was The Sopranos - the fictional show about the real mob that I had not been inducted into.

p.224
He looked me straight in the eye and welcomed me to their "family." I was immediately inducted into a booth and honored with unlimited refills of bread and salad.

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©Brian Sack | Filed under: Satire | 3 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Looks like we need a WTF??? category around here. Gellibaff is a packet of crystals that turns your kid's

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Very almost bold of you. I fear you might almost but never actually will incur the wrath of organized crime by coming forth with this information.


OMG this is just hilarious!

Greetings from a really dull neighborhood somewhere in Kansas, where you don't live thanks to the Witness Protection Program you never had anything to do with. I'm sure we'd all think you're a perfectly ordinary guy, if you were here.

[This whole thing cracked me up.]

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Unfunny in Farsi, hilarious in Dutch.



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