From New York, a weblog of original humor by Brian Sack.
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Review: The Auto LSD Button

auto-lsd-button.jpg


The Auto LSD button can be found on the dashboard of the Toyota RAV 4 we rented for Thanksgiving weekend.

I did not plan on using it during our journey because no one knew exactly what it did. But curiosity got the best of us and somewhere around Mystic, Connecticut I pressed it, at which time my licorice wife spoke to me in colors.

There was a dull vibration which I attribute to Universal Convergence. Time had flavor.

My brother melted into a whisper which frightened my friend Dave, causing him to sprout wings and turn into the concept of love.

I think this is a great button for a car to have, and I would certainly press it again, but not too much.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: A Thousand Words | 10 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Comments

Ahhh... I think we solved the mystery of why all those SUV's have roll over problems. Whatever you do, resist the urge to lick the tangerene velcro love thingy on the steering column when the vehicle's in motion.

My '98 Civic has the Auto XTC button. I hate pressing it because it makes techno music sound good.

So where is the Hyperspace button?

My Kia just came with a half-smoked joint in the ashtray. I guess I got what I paid for.

My car's got an 'ESP' button (seriously). It's right in the middle of the dash.
I have no idea what it's for, but I've never pressed it, as technically it should know before I do that it needs to be pressed and therefore switch itself on.

Besides that, thinking about pushing a button that already knows you want to press it, but then not pressing it whilst still thinking about doing it and simultaneously operating the vehicle in question could possibly tear a hole in the very fabric of space and time.

And quite frankly, that's a risk I can't afford to take.

Man, back in the 60s, we didn't even have automotive-grade LSD; we had to rely on the government labs.

Sure hope that was not a brown RAV 4. Rumor has it they would send you on a bad trip.

At least it doesn't have a History Eraser Button:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz2EGzVOWXg

They say if you press it three times, you're clinically insane for the rest of your life, man!

Wow that wa the single gereates thing ihave read...P.S sorry bout the slleping im 3.4 in the bag

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