Employees I’ve dealt with at electronics mega-retailer Best Buy, placed in other lines of work.
COMEDY CLUB EMCEE
Tells audience he’ll “be right with them” and spends the next eight minutes trying to break down a cardboard box.
PHARMACIST
Says he needs a key for the cabinet. Goes and looks for a key. Says he doesn’t know who has the key. Shrugs.
NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE
Is adamant that SBUX is around $80 per share. Finally consults a computer and admits it’s $34 and he doesn’t know what happened because he’s sure it was $80 yesterday.
POLICEMAN
Can’t help you with the stabbing because he’s only familiar with larceny.
WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY
Answers all questions with “Mmmmmmhmmmm.” When asked directly if he knows what he’s talking about, excuses himself and doesn’t return.
WAITER
Knows they definitely don’t carry bread because they only sell food. Checks with manager. Had no idea bread was food.
DIPLOMAT
Though supposedly on a fact-finding mission, is actually on a lunch-eating mission.
WHOLE FOODS CLERK
When asked for parsley, leads you to squash.
Brian Sack
I started Banterist in 2003 after this conversation with my cat. It led to all sorts of good things.
how true.
I used to work there when I was in college. I was a customer service rep, i.e. returns/exchanges and complaints. Mind you though, I had the littlest of knowledge with respect to computers or any “techie” stuff. More importantly, I hated people. So, they obviously do not use great care when making a new hire. Good deals on CD’s though!
Ummm, how about:
ER Nurse –
Chats with other nurses and ignores blood gushing from patient waiting at the counter.
Brian, you don’t have to post this on your site since it is shameless self-promotion, but after this latest hilarious item from you, I feel morally obligated to share three pieces I’ve written and posted on my “Irwin’s Journal Online” site (the URL provided) that deal with retail from several different perspectives. They are titled “Free*”, “TV, or Not TV” and “The Go-Way Incident” (in order of length). I hope I can return the favor of a laugh! (Even if no leather pants are harmed in any of the pieces.) Thank you for bringing much needed laughter to us!
Plastic Surgeon
For $1995.00 would you like the extended service plan for your boob job? Here’s what you get – Normal wear and tear parts and labor coverage. It doesn’t cover lost, stolen or misuse of items. But, if your boobs ever sag, droop, drop or become lopsided we’ll replace them for FREE.
You are awesome.
Also, with any one of the employees above, a large “drug free workplace” sign should be hung behind them. Because THAT is what will lead to responsive and quality service. Yeah….
[Home Depot/Handy Andy flashback]
Very funny — and totally correct, in most cases.
However – my husband worked for a while at the Best Buy store in Lansing Michigan. He was an IT guy for a large company in the city, and knew what he was doing. When he heard that a Best Buy was opening, he thought it would be interesting to help start up a store — plus he really wanted the employee discount. He worked there about a year, but it wasn’t long before he was the guy that everyone in the computer department came to when they couldn’t help the customer, and return customers went right to him when they needed help. What’s he doing now? He’s got his own IT business here in Gettysburg, and people still come to him when the other “computer guys” can’t help them.
Makes me wonder who coined the phrase “good help”.
It’s no wonder Best Buy employees lack motivation. The application and interview paint such a wonderful picture. Then, on day 3 of your training, you’re told that you get no breaks and no lunch unless you work over 7 hours straight. So, if you are diabetic or have some need to sit down every few hours – don’t apply!