I go to Paris several times a year. CDG is horrendous in many ways. In May I flew Zoom Airlines and they had old planes and spilled a drink on my new jacket but they landed at and departed from Terminal 3. Although it resembled the Sydney, Nova Scotia airport it worked for me. You're right, CDG sucks.

Is the diagram of the check-in/ticketing area available as a print suitable for framing? Gorgeous. And frightening.

travelling through France is always a bit of an experience

I Luv when you travel....you have the best satorical comedy I ever read...

Right on. There is no airport I have passed through that is more poorly conceived than CDG. It really does seem as if it were done as a design gambit. Last time we passed through it, there was a bomb scare in our departure terminal. The disturbance was barely noticeable.

Wow, thanks for the memories.

Coming back from Vienna last year, we had less than 20 minutes to get to our second plane. Plenty of time, right? Not when the airport is shaped like a giant ring and your gate is on exactly the opposite side of it (and unmarked, of course).

Loved the comments on CDG!!! The only thing that was missing was how the airport staff so perfectly complement the place. There must be some sort of corporate competition for surliness.

My recollection of CDG is that my plane from Atlanta parked on the tarmac and the passengers were herded onto a bus that took us to one of the terminals. From that terminal, I had to take a bus to another terminal to catch my connecting flight. At that terminal, I was able to find the departure gate for my flight. I walked down the ramp that led to an airplane, but was diverted to a spiral staircase that led to a bus parked below the airplane. That bus then took me to my connecting flight, which was parked somewhere on the tarmac away from the airport.

[ Sounds about right. -B. ]

Thanks for your comments regarding your CDG experience. I will never see Paris because my husband refuses to return to CDG airport - I think his comments were "20 years ago the Gabon airport was more efficient!" Our groups negative and unbelievable experiences are too many to list. My favorite parts though were the invisible and unmarked terminal entrances and the gate numbers with arrows pointing both left and right! Special!

Pucker up Buttercup. A satellite view of France's largest Anus-like atteaction.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8a/Charlesdegaulleairportaerial.jpg

JBF

You smoke?!?

[ When in Rome... -B. ]

Yeah, well come here to Adelaide in South Australia for an airport experience. We only got covered air-bridges earlier this year and that was 5 months after its official opening in october last year. Additionally if you are travelling intrastate there is a requirment to be some sort of athelete as the gate is some 2kms (that about 1 million feet in imperial) from the entrance gate.

I have a French birth certificate - for the obvious reason - and so have been back many times. One time, because I had premiere status or some such on United, I was assigned a personal escort. A personal escort, who whisked me through the myriad CDG "road" blocks. And I had just smoked outside - something of Lebanese origin. I felt no pain, no anguish. But that experience must constitute an outlier.

i almost got blown up there...Huge bomb scare over unattended lugage...then big bang...

...and CDG has no noticeable air-conditioning. In many ways transfering at CDG feels like going through hell. Unfortunately, it's not the only airport in the world that sucks.

I await the day you provide color commentary on Amsterdam's Schiphol...

Thanks for the offer. You have inspired me to spend the extra $200 it will cost to get to Italy without flying through Paris.

If you ever decide to write a book on poorly designed airports, be sure to include Toronto.

We had the misfortune to stop in CDG on our way to Vienna just a few weeks ago. Our flight was a bit late in landing, so we deplaned on the tarmac and were herded onto buses which then meandered their way slowly around the airport, the driver seemingly unsure as to where to stop to allow us to get off. Most of us were trying to reach connecting flights...most of us had to stand in long lines to reschedule our connecting flights. The best part was when we were allowed off the bus and were told to climb the circular stairs with our carryon luggage. We did so, trudging onto the walkway above. Suddenly the long line of passengers came to a halt. We were at the back of the line. We look up...We could see the heads of those in front of us turning around one by one like a well-choreographed chorus line. The door leading into the terminal was locked. We rotated in turn and climbed down the stairs and waited for about 5 minutes while the attendants spoke on their walkie-talkies. Then, like good little sheeple marched back up the stairs and over the walkway again to the now unlocked and open doorway.

Just came through CDG. Never again. I have more French stamps then any of the three countries that I was really visiting. The Bus, stamp, walk a lot, go through security again feature has to go. Not to mention, at one point when i had missed yet another connection, I walked out side of the airport and then walked back in, re-checked in and then went through a metal detector. That took about 30 minutes. Not the 2 hours it takes to connect to a flight. You would think connecting would be easier because you are in a controlled space...clearly at CDG that is just blah.

Sadly, in order to get to and from Italy using my frequent flier miles, I must return through CDG. Fortunately, I have a 4 hour layover, which should (fingers crossed) allow enough time to make my way through the airport to my next flight. From my prior European experiences (ever tried to heave multiple suitcases onto a train and then climb on - inevitably on top of the luggage - before said train begins to move) I plan to take a hiking pack only. I have found that it makes an excellent battering ram when confronted by immovable walls of people.

WHY DON'T YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE AND NOT TRAVEL THEN

I have a great appreciation for satirical humor but normally take it with a grain of salt because it is frequently exaggerated. In this case, however, I think that you were too kind. We had a four hour layover at CDG and it was barely enough time. We flew into 2F and out of 2E (the next terminal over) and it took 45 minutes to walk between them. My mother walks with a cane and there were no moving sidewalks, no wheelchairs, and no one to ask if she needed assistance. Finally, we arrived and boarded the bus to the plane. The bus ride was so long that not only was the terminal not visible from the plane but I'm not convinced that we flew out of Paris at all. For all I know, it could have been Lyon or Nice. Also, the bus didn't have seats for the handicapped (apparently there are no handicapped people in France) so my Mom had to hang on with one hand and brace herself with her cane with the other. I think the bus ride may have moved the date for the knee replacement surgery up 6 months.

On a positive note, coach on an Air France plane is better than coach on any domestic plane I've ever flown. The seats were almost comfortable, there was decidedly more leg room, and the food was the best airplane food I've ever had.