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Banterist: Home > May 2006 > May 15, 2006

Grammar Cop: All Talk, No Mastication

sound-bite-free.jpg

Defendant: KGO AM 710, San Francisco

Count 1: Negligent hyphenation.

Report: Officer Frank of the Bay Area Grammatical Vice Squad initially spotted the infraction on a billboard alongside US 101 but was unable to capture the evidence and maintain 65/mph. Fortunately the defendant also advertises on buses, one of which later appeared next to Officer Frank's camera-equipped patrol vehicle.

Fine: $130, and KGO personality Bret Burkhart will make public the name of his hairstylist so that he/she can be avoided.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: Grammar Cop | 8 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Comments

Is "hairstylist" the appropriate name for someone who would coiff a toupee? That hairline looks a little too straight to be real...

Posted by: Grant Walters | May 15, 2006 6:44 PM

Solid, dependable toothless radio. That really describes most stations, now doesn't it?

Posted by: eggsngrits Author Profile Page | May 15, 2006 9:14 PM

I'd go so far as to argue that the closing full-stop is (if you'll pardon the pun) rather pointless, as there's nothing resembling an actual sentence preceding it.

Posted by: GreyDuck | May 16, 2006 2:05 AM

During a trawl trying to work out why soundbyte, sound-byte, sound byte, soundbite and sound-bite are regularly interchanged on the net (and in real life), I found the following list of v. funny language bloopers from around the globe to cheer up those who miss Brian's photos of dodgy signs from China.

http://www.wordnet.com/bloopers.html

Posted by: Jody | May 16, 2006 6:53 AM

Three cheers for KGO! Who wants unsound bite-free radio? It may end up biting anyway, by ACCIDENT.

I for one am emboldened to listen to this station based on their claim. Especially in a world where most radio stations BITE by default. Especially talk radio. Especially talk radio screamers who try to take their "right-wing party animal" act to CNN Headline News television and kidnap/brainwash brilliant but unsuspecting humorists for their own NEFARIOUS AND DIABOLICAL SCHEMES! This aggression will not stand, man.

FREE BRIAN!!!

Posted by: Corry Lee Smith | May 16, 2006 2:10 PM

Dear Brian,

Listen, I think I might have been misspoken in my previous message. What I meant to say is:

Do you think Erica Hill would go out with me?

That's all I really wanted to say. Sorry for the misunderstanding. You know I'm behind you 110%, buddy.

yer pal,
Corry

P.S. Mr. Beck, about those goons who just showed up at my door and beat the crap out of me: They were very professional, left no permanent damage, just a few marks, and I still hurt like hell. They even left a card and contact information. Said they were a local Homeland Security contractor startup biz here in Huntsalulu. My compliments and best of luck in the future.

Posted by: Unclaimed Mysteries | May 16, 2006 2:40 PM

Thank you, thank you. A cousin of Nancy Reagan's anti-child abuse program!

Posted by: Bill Walsh | June 1, 2006 10:32 PM

Why type 65/mph? It is not a fraction, nor a comparison.
What would be wrong with 65mph?
Cleaner; save a keystroke; more sensible.
RB

Posted by: RB | July 25, 2007 11:57 AM

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