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CSI: Allergy Response Unit
Episode One: The unit works to snare a Brooklyn Mafia boss who has a mattress that makes him wheeze.
Episode Two: A single fingerprint leads Detectives Melsky and Duffert to a counterfeiter with four cats.
Episode Three: It's a race against the clock as a dangerous arsonist aggravates Mrs. Peel's asthma.
Episode Four: Detective Haggart refuses to open a 30-year old cold case because the envelope is dusty.
Episode Five: The detectives shut down a Manhattan escort service using animal dander.
Episode Six: A key witness to a brutal gangland slaying is interrogated with too much perfume.
Episode Seven: An undercover cop infiltrates a murderous drug gang only to be offered a hazelnut.
Episode Eight: Three days before he's set to retire, Detective Williams suffers a rash. (With Terrence Trent D'Arby as a self-sabotaging dandy)
Episode Nine: Headquarters is turned upside-down as Internal Affairs investigates reports of widespread lactose intolerance.
Episode Ten: Detective Melsky separates from his wife and must come to terms with the fact his deodorant burns his armpits.
Episode Eleven: A kidnapped priest is absolutely miserable with all the pollen.
Episode Twelve: After Detective Haggart's partner is killed on duty, the unit struggles to discover when the HEPA filter was last changed.
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Here we have CSI hottie George Eads going for that all-American look. Is he free-flying there or do you think it's a boxers special effect. George will be staying put on the number one drama, so don't look for him in the latest spinoff, CSI: Allergy R...
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Comments
I'm sure he's a perfectly nice person, but I'm afraid I have a severe allergy to David Caruso. It manifests itself in the form of shivering and dry-heaving.
You are funny.
Posted by: Amanda B. | October 24, 2005 1:17 PM
Disturbingly familiar...I love your writing. Too funny for words. Keep it coming.
Posted by: Jenni B | October 24, 2005 1:27 PM
Imagine the great allergy-filled episodes during "Sweeps" week?
Posted by: Neil | October 25, 2005 6:28 PM
Thank you.
Posted by: rose![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.banterist.com/nav-commenters.gif)
|
October 25, 2005 7:28 PM
Terrence Trent D'Arby? Is he still around?
Posted by: Doris | October 25, 2005 10:39 PM
Oh, if only the real CSI were this funny!
Posted by: Peggy Archer | October 26, 2005 1:28 PM
This show already exists - it is called "Monk".
http://www.usanetwork.com/series/monk/
Posted by: Mark | October 27, 2005 9:12 AM
Have you solicited this yet? Sounds like a winner for UPN.
Posted by: Bobbie | October 27, 2005 11:06 AM
Droll, understated wit. Great stuff. I especially liked the French "humor" and the Grammar policeman. You got a fan base dude!
Posted by: Jim Tarrant | November 14, 2005 2:55 PM
...ehm...may anyone tell George Eads that I'm falling in love with his smiles? ..every time I see on photos...CSI's Episodes...ehm...ah...I'm not a girl... ;)
Posted by: Yargo | March 21, 2006 5:00 PM
George Eads is soooo
hot.date Jorja Fox again yall make a good couple.
Posted by: tori | June 22, 2006 2:11 AM