Banterist - The New York Regrettable Film Festival

From New York, original humor & commentary by Brian Sack.
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The New York Regrettable Film Festival

SOMETHING TO TELL YOU (14 min)
An older woman enters a poorly lit apartment and trades lines with a younger woman who is inaudible.

THE KENYAN STORYTELLER (33 min)
In what is supposed to be Africa but is in fact Central Park in Autumn, a black woman in tiger makeup dances around for half an hour.

DEMONS AMONG US (49 min)
A drama seems to unfold as every single Final Cut Pro effect is used.

I AM SUCCESS FORCE! (55 min)
Japanese comedy ensues as Myoko delivers her grandmother's famous dumplings to the wrong house, or something like that.

HIDE AND SEEK (31 min)
A young girl sits behind a rack of clothes while her mother goes in and out of focus.

HOMECOMING (67 min)
A young man returns to the scene of his sister's murder, only to realize the writer didn't really figure out where this was all going.

HIDDEN SECRETS (73 min)
An effeminate Marine enters the scene out of nowhere and arrests a terrorist with a water pistol.

THE HEART'S LAMENT (43 min)
Set in New York at the turn of the century, two women discuss life and love while the A/C turns on and off in the background.

ALL FOR EILEEN (38 min)
A love-struck attorney struggles to remember his lines.

DO US PART (40 min)
A man's marriage collapses amidst camera hum and an intruding microphone.

DECEMBER'S FOLLY (89 min)
An overweight actor/director inserts a love scene so he can kiss an aspiring actress.

THE CONDEMNED (28 min)
A convict on death row reflects on his last hours from what appears to be a Lower East Side bathroom.

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Comments

simply brilliant!

Posted by: Martini Cocoa | August 8, 2005 5:51 PM

This is so obscure,that it's almost inscrutable!

Posted by: Kerry | August 8, 2005 5:59 PM

Kreplach for my bubalah - Jonathan Foer inspired story of a film student's journey to long island, with 25 minutes of voiceover during shots from a subway window

Posted by: Ross | August 9, 2005 4:40 AM

painfully on point.
a must forward in the independant film scene.

Posted by: jeepbastard | August 9, 2005 9:49 AM

on HIDDEN SECRETS I couldn't tell which one had the water pistol. If it was the terrorist, how terrorizing can that be? If the Marine, that's a hell of an arrest.

Posted by: Phil V | August 9, 2005 9:14 PM

"An overweight actor/director inserts a love scene so he can kiss an aspiring actress."

Wait... what? You mean that's not normal for the director to add in love scenes?! Dammit.

Posted by: Annie | August 10, 2005 12:00 AM

Wonderful. I wish you could collect it all on one DVD for a great best of the bad set. They make great films to play at parties when you want to slow the funk down.

Posted by: Shawn | August 22, 2005 5:32 PM

Closed at 2:00 -
The camera follows a vacationing couple on a fruitless search for bagels in Palm Springs.

Posted by: kipknee | August 22, 2005 8:03 PM

And somehow they all seem more appealing than most of this summer's blockbusters!

Posted by: Ivan McKeon | August 23, 2005 5:53 AM

(an international competition entry, from the Colombian scene)

Licantrovampiricanibalism (in a semi-tropical kind of way)

A young couple have sex while the boy imagines the girl in a lesbian sequence. They then enter a candle-lit bathroom full of crew and equipment shadows, kill themselves and wake up to drink each other's blood in an orgy of cheap red paint.

Posted by: Reinaldo Uribe | August 23, 2005 8:44 AM

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