From New York, original humor & commentary by Brian Sack.
Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.


Grammar Cop: When The Proofreader's Code 7

id_theft.jpg


Defendant: NYPD - 9th Precinct

Count 1: Accidental suggestion of doubt or irony by using quotes for emphasis.
Count 2: Failure to use a closing quote.
Count 3: Failure to employ a question mark in the establishment of an interrogative sentence.
Count 4: Improper comma use.
Count 5: Placing parentheses in harm's way by locating them outside of a sentence.
Count 6: Photocopying grammatical errors with intent to distribute.
Count 7: Demanding bar and nightclub owners display grammatical errors in a prominent place without having the legal authority to do so.

Report: Officer David S. of the Greenwich Village Grammatical Crimes Unit witnessed two uniformed NYPD officers demanding a nightclub bouncer display flyer (Exhibit A) in a prominent area. Officer S. came into possession of flyer and an investigation was launched - by which I mean he scanned and emailed the thing.

Fine: $312 in non-taxpayer funds and a restraining order on littering the city with awkward flyers advertising common sense.


©Brian Sack | Filed under: Grammar Cop | 2 Comments | Email to a Friend
Tags:
Bookmark and Share

Trackback

You can ping this entry by using:
http://www.banterist.com/movabletype/mt-tb.cgi/230

Comments

What happened to Count 7? If it's gone missing, you might want to report it to the Math Cops as well.


[ Doh. Thanks. Corrected. -B. ]

Count 8: Improper capitalization of improper noun.

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)



Follow us on Twitter @brian_sack



ABOUT
INDEX
FAQ
FEED
TWITTER

Entries:

Comments:


By category:


Banterist is licensed under a Creative Commons License and is powered by Movable Type 4.32-en. The site is pretty because Nick Aster made it that way.

© 2003-2012 Brian Sack. All rights reserved.

television-clips.jpg

subscribe.jpg

Where've we been?
The New York Times • NPR • WBCN • Mancow • Fox & Friends • CBS Up To The Minute • The Jay Thomas Show • WJIM • WOCM • CW 11 • The Guardian • USA Today • Boing Boing • Daybreak USA • Fusion • New York Daily News • Canada National Post • KIRO • Radar • McSweeney's • The Independent • Glamour • MSNBC.com • FARK • Glenn Beck program • New York Post Page Six • BBC Radio • Gawker • Defamer • CNN.com • Cracked • New Zealand Herald • Irish Independent • Weekend America and other fine media outlets.


 


 Subscribe to Feed