Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.
The Starbucks Glossary
Antiventi
A person who rejects company size lingo and orders their beverage in small, medium and large.
Botulidm
Discomfort associated with a barista pressing a dirty thumb on the lid's sipping-hole while affixing it to your cup.
Chainchronicity
When you can stand in one Starbucks and see another, such as at Astor Place.
Coffotomy
Removal of unwanted beverage by pouring it into the trash, usually to make room for milk.
Coffusion
When two or more customers reach for the same beverage, unsure of its ownership.
Delait
When you are forced to wait for the milk thermos you need.
Denialinated
A high-calorie, high-fat beverage such as the Caramel Mocha ordered with skim milk to reduce guilt.
Hesitip
The act of waiting until the employee can see you place money in the jar, so you can get credit for it.
Neglact
To forget that the customer wanted room for milk and fill the cup to the brim.
Textibitionist
A person seated so you can see the mediocre screenplay on his laptop.
Trackback
You can ping this entry by using:
http://www.banterist.com/movabletype/mt-tb.cgi/213
Despite being dismayed at the banality of having the same cloned store everywhere, I kinda...
A workplace distraction since 2003.
Entries:
- Grammar Cop: See Me After Class
- If Hitler Hated Disorganized Closets Instead of Jews
- Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Germany Dispatch: Unfortunate Names
- France Dispatch - Unfortunate Names
- France Dispatch - Internet Inderdit!
- Getting Around Chinese Censorship
- Grammar Cop: That's Not What They MENSA
- Send Your Money to Oblivion with Xoom.com
- Mass Historia
Comments:
- Mary on Those Who Pre-Cana Don't Really Wanna
- lowlights on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Brian on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Alexander on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Brad Zimmerman on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- WW on eBay: The Marchond Jones Edition Macintosh
- Jody on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
By category:
- *Greatest Hits* (54)
- A Thousand Words (13)
- All Lyrics, No Melody (1)
- Articles (19)
- Ask Banterist (3)
- Banterist (29)
- Breakroom (4)
- Eavesdropping (3)
- eBay (18)
- Eyewitness (10)
- Fatherhood Dispatch (12)
- Foreign Desk (23)
- Friends (4)
- Games (6)
- Grammar Cop (97)
- Greeting Cards (1)
- History (9)
- In The News (40)
- Interactive (5)
- Internet (25)
- Johnny Berlin (6)
- Letters (20)
- Marketing (21)
- McSweeney's (5)
- Miscellany (6)
- Monologues (4)
- New York (24)
- Noble Experiments (10)
- Others (8)
- Parody (11)
- People (15)
- Photos (2)
- Playmobil (6)
- Politics (30)
- Profiles (2)
- Radar (5)
- Rants (10)
- Reviews (5)
- Satire (103)
- Spying (4)
- Television (11)
- The Independent (9)
- Thoughts (23)
- Travel (60)
- Work (72)
Banterist is licensed under a Creative Commons License and is powered by Movable Type 4.21-en. The site is pretty because Nick Aster made it that way.
© 2003-2008 Brian Sack. All rights reserved.
Where've
we been?
NPR • WBCN • Mancow • Fox & Friends • CBS Up To The Minute • The Jay Thomas Show • WJIM • WOCM • CW 11 • The
Guardian • USA
Today • Boing Boing • Daybreak USA • Fusion • New York
Daily News • Canada National Post • KIRO • Radar • McSweeney's • The
Independent • Glamour • MSNBC.com • FARK • Glenn Beck program • New York
Post Page Six • BBC Radio • Gawker • Defamer
• CNN.com • Cracked • New
Zealand Herald • Irish
Independent • Weekend America and other fine media outlets.
Subscribe to Feed
Comments
This is quickly becoming a favorite blog of mine.
Signed,
A confirmed Antiventist and Hesitipper
Posted by: Brad | February 1, 2005 11:24 AM
ummm...does the grammar cop know that "eavesdropping" is misspelled "evesdropping" in the archives sidebar? Unless that's referring to something along the lines of dwarftossing....
Posted by: Nikki | February 1, 2005 3:39 PM
brilliant
Posted by: brainy | February 2, 2005 4:12 AM
funny. i like "coffusion"
Posted by: smitty | February 2, 2005 2:50 PM
I hesitip on an almost daily basis. Great piece.
Posted by: lola | February 3, 2005 5:06 PM
This is too funny for a blog - can't you make money off stuff like this?
Posted by: Harris Bloom | February 4, 2005 12:48 PM
Hilarious. I'm definitely an antiventi and a hesitipper, but what about the times when your bill is $2.98 and you get two cents back, and it just seems insulting to toss the two cents in the bowl? In those cases I usually wait for the guy NOT to be looking and I toss it in just to get rid of the change. There's gotta be a term for it...
Posted by: Nick | February 4, 2005 9:00 PM
There must be a joke about Latte-Tude lurking somewhere in this piece.
Posted by: Noj | February 7, 2005 7:41 AM
Coffusion is a.k.a. decaffeinestration at my *bucks.
Posted by: Kevin | March 8, 2005 3:40 PM
Hey, I just heard this blog post referenced on the neil boortz radio show! He did not mention the url though. I did a google search to find it. How lame is it to use content without giving credit.
Posted by: robert | October 17, 2005 10:09 PM
I have often thought how absurd it is to have two big Stabucks within 75 yards of each other in Astor Place. Glad someone else has thought the same. Nice job on the site, consistently funny.
Posted by: Jason | November 24, 2005 12:53 AM
This is great... or should I say, "Ventimissimo"?... Check out this cartoon too. A little rabid squirrel says we're all "Star-Schmucks".
www.illwillpress.com/sml.html
Posted by: Anthony | November 25, 2005 3:37 PM
Is there a term for "I am not tipping because all you did was pour a cup of coffee, the coffee is expensive enough, and you have health insurance. I pay $1100.00 a month for health insurance for my wife, my child and me."
Posted by: ale | March 30, 2006 1:36 PM
Brilliant! I'm addicted to Starbucks, and I love your glossary. You should publish a book with this stuff in it.
Posted by: Cindy M | November 29, 2007 4:44 AM