Until not too long ago, the most common method of selling a lecherous Frenchman was word of mouth. You would tell friends, family and co-workers you had one for sale, and hope they spread the word. Unfortunately, word of mouth was a mediocre marketing method at best. Yard sales ran a close second, often yielding the same results. More often than not, one would wind up fetching far less than what a lecherous Frenchman thinks he's worth; a situation that could be disappointing to you financially, and emotionally painful to him, as he is usually quite overconfident.

Then along came eBay.

eBay revolutionized the way people bought and sold everything from baseball cards and bayonets to autographs and wife-pinching Gallic philanderers. Suddenly, the average Joe had a world-wide audience for his wares. Those uncomfortable with negotiating found relief in the fact that they didn't have to deal directly with the buyer. That, plus the unheard-of exposure that eBay offers every seller, meant that you could often get top dollar for a lecherous Frenchman - a boon to you, and a welcome but unnecessary boost to his ego.

To get the most out of selling your lecherous Frenchman on eBay, here are some useful tricks and tips that everyone should take advantage of:

CHOOSE A CATCHY HEADLINE

You'd be surprised how many folks lose the attention of potential buyers by not giving any consideration to a catchy headline. If you had to choose between "Please Buy My Lecherous Frenchman" or "This Mousy Guy Will Pinch The Bride's Ass At Her Wedding" which would you choose? Odds are you'd go for the latter, because it offers you details that the other headline does not. By creating an intriguing image in the mind of a prospective buyer you have helped move them one step closer to making that all-important mouse-click that gets them to your main selling page.

DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS

Once you've gotten their attention and drawn them to your page, eBay offers you the chance to really sell your lecherous Frenchman. To do that you're going to need to offer up some details that paint a vivid picture in the mind of the prospective buyer and really gets them interested in the product.

Does your lecherous Frenchman have glasses? Probably. Describe the glasses. Has he tried to lure your wife or girlfriend away while you were off buying drinks for everyone? That's something a prospective buyer might like to know. How is he at Karaoke? Is he slim, thin, or very slim?

Name the types of noises your lecherous Frenchman finds hilarious, and which Johnny Hallyday album he prefers. If he often pretends not to speak English, point that out too.

Remember, details are essential. The more you provide, the fewer questions your prospective buyers will have, and the more likely they are to choose your lecherous Frenchman over all the others.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

For a small fee, eBay allows you to display several photographs of your lecherous Frenchman, a feature well worth taking advantage of. Put yourself in the position of the buyer and imagine what you would like to see pictures of when considering such a purchase.

A master shot will allow your potential buyer to see the whole package, as it were. Try and place your lecherous Frenchman next to a bar stool, wheel of Brie, or a fire hydrant so as to get a size reference. Make sure your lecherous Frenchman is dressed appropriately: i.e., wearing anything from a discarded t-shirt with a meaningless English expression, to a soiled dress shirt with yellow armpit stains. Make sure he's in the leather pants he came with.

A variety of detail shots will really help your prospects get a good idea of what they are (hopefully) bidding on. Get some shots of your lecherous Frenchman's confident expression. If he puckers his face and scowls when talking about American culture, try and get a close-up. Likewise, if he has an expression of eyes-bulging panic, such as when approached by an unhappy husband, try and capture that too. Get some shots of him smoking, drinking wine, and propositioning your fiancée while she's parallel parking.

SET A REASONABLE STARTING PRICE

Don't underestimate the importance of pricing your lecherous Frenchman. One method is to visit other eBay auctions to get an idea of what sellers are asking, and what buyers are paying. Compare the features yours has with that of others. If your lecherous Frenchman will follow women to the restroom and try to kiss them, see if someone else has the same model - and price accordingly. If he has amazing, unwarranted self-confidence, see what that goes for. It's probably priceless.

One option is to take advantage of eBay's "reserve" pricing, which lets you set a secret minimum price you're willing to accept. This prevents bidders from being discouraged by a high initial opening bid.

TIME YOUR AUCTION ACCORDINGLY

Make sure that your auction will be ending at a convenient time of day - not too early, and not too late. Take into consideration your prospective buyer. The majority of folks who would like to get their hands on a lecherous Frenchman are men, many of whom don't get home until 6:30pm or so. Make sure your auction is convenient for them (and don't forget the West coast, which is behind the U.S. both chronologically and politically).

LET THE BIDDING BEGIN

Once you start the auction, it's out of your hands. If you've done everything right and taken advantage of these tips, you should have created interest in your auction. If you're lucky, bidders will be fighting over your lecherous Frenchman; the best-case scenario for you, and a dream come true for him.