GLASS:

Shower door etching of an African emigrant sucking Courtney Love's breast outside a Wendy's - no
Stephen Glass - (see 'Paper Recycling')
Wine bottles, Cabernet - no (let sit)
Wine bottles, except Cabernet - yes
Bottles of expensive foreign beers - yes
Bottles with "born on" dates - no
Odd-shaped wine bottles designed to draw attention away from lousy wine inside - yes
Deli window with "neck face" spray-painted on it - yes
Glass ashtrays from restaurant that took a 30% hit in profits because of the smoking ban - no
Double pane windows that keep the sounds of screaming homeless from disturbing your slumber - yes
Glass matte of the Ewok Village stolen from a warehouse at Lucasfilm - no
Rose-colored glasses - yes
The glass of water you asked the waiter for twenty minutes ago, damn it - yes

PLASTIC:

Plastic bag used by Gotti mistress to kill herself without any assistance from nobody and don't you says a word, you understand? - yes
Cher - yes
Soy Milk containers - yes
Plastic food containers for pun-named vegan products like "Soy Vey!" and "Not Dogs" - no
Cassette recording of the "Talking Taxi" campaign which featured a variety of non-celebrities admonishing you for not putting on your seatbelt - yes
American Express Centurion Card - yes
Containers of Tropicana Pure Premium with Pulp - yes (remove pulp)
P. Diddy CDs - no (can't recycle twice)
Empty Botox syringes - yes
Hilarious post-surgery cone that goes around your dog's head - yes
Vinyl banner printed with "I'm Aiken 4 Clay" from last year's American Idol - no
CD compilation of Rocco Siffredi sodomizing Czech harlots - yes
Michael Jackson - no
Laminated "Sore-Loserman" banner from Election 2000 - no
Defective Xbox - (no, save for class action)
Megaphone used by man who lured you into a shady "sample sale" on the sixth floor of decrepit building - yes
Sub-flooring that should have been put under your buckling hardwood floor - yes

PAPER:

Gest/Minelli Wedding invitations - yes
Gest/Minelli Divorce documents - yes
Rite Aid Pharmacy flyer handed to you on the corner of 14th and 7th by Carmen Vazquez of Honduras - yes
The creepy "Alamo Christian Ministries" newsletter left on your windshield - yes
Jayson Blair's memoirs - no (wait for apology)
Stephen Glass's memoirs - yes
"Flashdancers" strip-club promo card handed to you by man who fled war-torn homeland - no
Copies of "Taboo" stage play - yes
Box of "World Says No To War" flyers in Spanish - no
Empty cereal boxes - yes
Empty cereal boxed that mention "fiber" or "colon" a little too much - no
Al Sharpton's copy of "Leadership" by Rudolph Giuliani - yes
United Federation of Teachers "Aniual Report on Are Progresses In Education" - yes
The New York Times - yes (remove any recycled articles)
The 997 remaining headshots from your failed acting career - yes
Printed Pamphlet touting the return of recycling - no (savor the irony!)
Dr. Zizmor's Subway Ads - yes
E-ticket from Air France, where Business Class is just Economy with less attitude - no

METAL:

Gest/Minelli wedding rings - yes
The star-thing on Janet Jackson's nipple during the debacle that she'd rather put behind her - yes
A child's braces - no
A child with braces - no
Metal Gear Solid for Xbox - no
Samurai sword you inexplicably purchased when drunk in Chinatown, you loser - yes
Can of baked beans you bought in Chinatown because its logo is a backwards swastika, which you thought odd - yes
Parking meters - yes (remove coins)
"Under Construction" sign stolen from a building site which advertises a shady, low-quality construction firm with ties to organized crime - yes
Staples - yes
NASDAQ: SPLS - no
Fire escapes - yes
Abandoned bicycle frames - yes
The steel girders from the new West Side stadium that's so frickin' awesome that no one noticed $300,000,000 of their tax dollars are going to build it - no

Please remember to leave your recyclables in the proper color-coded bag.

Place the bags on the sidewalk on your pick-up day so that they can be ripped open and the contents strewn outside your apartment.