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Banterist: Home > February 2004 > February 10, 2004

Grammar Cop: You're Fire'd!

resumes.jpg


Complaint: Misdemeanor use of an illegal apostrophe in the construction of a plural noun; improper splitting of a word (“letterhead”); rendering grammatical mistakes permanent by printing them on to plastic window signage; mounting grammatical mistakes in a window in a high-traffic area; second-degree destruction of countless careers by offering potentially typo-ridden résumé services to unsuspecting individuals

Defendant: Pro-Print on Park Avenue South

Report: Officer was on routine patrol in his agent’s neighborhood when he witnessed the crime. Subsequent investigation may be necessary to determine the scope of the crime and possible additional charges. Officer plans to canvass the neighborhood and ask all homeless and unemployed individuals where they had their “resume’s” done.

Fine: $318


©Brian Sack | Filed under: Grammar Cop | 6 Comments | Email to a Friend
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Comments

Second-degree should be hyphenated. Fine: $50.00.

Posted by: Joe Detmont | February 10, 2004 9:46 PM

Indeed, but the fine is pointless because all proceeds go to me.

Posted by: Brian | February 10, 2004 11:50 PM

I think the apostrophe was meant to be an accent (i.e. the mark that goes over the e in resume). So perhaps the misdemeanor can be forgiven.

Posted by: akg | February 11, 2004 4:03 AM

You're very forgiving, but would you really want a résumé prepared by someone who thought an apostrophe was an accent?

Posted by: Brian | February 11, 2004 8:17 AM

I feel that sign makers should be legally liable for all egregious typos, with a fine not less than $150 per incident. It's one thing to have idiotic use (or non-use) of apostrophes and such in e-mails, it's quite another to permanently subject the public to same. Sign makers must bear the responsibility.

Posted by: Stevie | February 16, 2004 8:25 AM

By the way, thanks for the proper accenting of "résumé". And while we're at it, anyone who puts apostrophes in the place of accents (e.g. "Main Street Caf'e") should be placed in the stocks for public humiliation.

OK, I've gotten it out of my system now.

Posted by: Stevie | February 16, 2004 8:59 AM

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