Banterist will be dispatching from an incredibly inconvenient part of Poland beginning today. Our geographic location will be seven hours from Warsaw, seven hours from Krakow, five hours from Berlin. If you've heard of Bydgoszcz, and most likely you haven't, it's even two or three hours from that too. Really, I'm standing in the middle of a huge field. I could fire a Scud in any direction and all I'd do is burn some wheat.

Regardless, there are plenty of topics to write about. Like my brother-in-law buying to ostriches. Wouldn't you be inclined to read something titled My Brother-In-Law Impulse Purchased Two Ostriches? Of course you would. You'd probably want to know why he did that. So do I.

I could write at length about the terrifying wolf/dog that patrols the yard at night. I'm not supposed to exit the house when wolf/dog is patrolling because he may be tempted to attack, maim and/or kill me. Antisocial, life-threatening wolf/dog that holds me prisoner? There's some material there, I'm sure of it.

So please, stay tuned for exciting dispatches filed at 1200bps from the field. Or a field.