Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.
Plight of The Average-Penised
Long before we all knew the perils of putting your email address out in the open, I gave my email address freely to anyone who wanted it. After years out there in the ether, it's been acquired, traded, sold and borrowed. Now it appears on every possible junk email list known to man.
The end result is that I am absolutely assaulted with copious amounts of spam every day.
Yesterday set a record: 51 junk emails in a 24-hour period. Mind you, this is with Earthlink's spam filtering turned ON. I can only imagine what would happen if I turned it off. In fact, I may out of curiosity.
Here's a breakdown of yesterday's spam deluge:
Breast enlargement for the boobs I don't have: 1
Casino tips for the online casino I wouldn't go near:1
Debt relief for the debt problems I've avoided: 3
Diploma for the teaching career I don't want: 1
Exciting business concepts for Pyramid marketing losers: 2
Human Growth Hormone (HGH), the creepy drug: 2
Life insurance: 1
New car prices for the car I'll never buy since I live in Manhattan: 2
Newsletters claiming I "Opted In" to receive shitty newsletters: 3
No idea what they were pitching because message was blank: 2
Penis enlargement for the penis I'm fine with, thank you very much: 8
Pornographic site with an exciting new vibrator: 1
Pornographic site with farm sluts: 3
Pornographic site with hot anal action: 1
Pornographic site with hot college orgies: 1
Pornographic site with hot twinks: 1
Pornographic site with hot young teens: 1
Prescription medications that do not require a prescription: 10
Radio control cars:1
Sales leads for the sales career I do not have: 1
Scam artist who wants to transfer $48 Million into my bank account: 1
Spam filtering software, with the irony not being lost on me: 1
Weight loss for the weight problem I do not have: 2
Yoga mat, for the trendy hobby I'll never pick up: 1
A pox on these people. I heard mention in the news this morning of Anti-Spam legislation being tossed around Congress. It's been tossed around before. Let's hope it's not tossed around too much longer. Being reminded on a daily basis that a "Penis Enlargement Patch" exists is unnerving and wrong.
Trackback
You can ping this entry by using:
http://www.banterist.com/movabletype/mt-tb.cgi/20
A weblog, but wittier.
Entries:
- If Hitler Hated Disorganized Closets Instead of Jews
- Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Germany Dispatch: Unfortunate Names
- France Dispatch - Unfortunate Names
- France Dispatch - Internet Inderdit!
- Getting Around Chinese Censorship
- Grammar Cop: That's Not What They MENSA
- Send Your Money to Oblivion with Xoom.com
- Mass Historia
- Poland Dispatch: Zalesie in 60 Seconds
Comments:
- Mary on Those Who Pre-Cana Don't Really Wanna
- lowlights on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Brian on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Alexander on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- Brad Zimmerman on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
- WW on eBay: The Marchond Jones Edition Macintosh
- Jody on Europe Dispatch: The Very Long Drive - A Summary
By category:
- *Greatest Hits* (54)
- A Thousand Words (13)
- All Lyrics, No Melody (1)
- Articles (19)
- Ask Banterist (3)
- Banterist (29)
- Breakroom (4)
- Eavesdropping (3)
- eBay (18)
- Eyewitness (10)
- Fatherhood Dispatch (12)
- Foreign Desk (23)
- Friends (4)
- Games (6)
- Grammar Cop (96)
- Greeting Cards (1)
- History (9)
- In The News (40)
- Interactive (5)
- Internet (25)
- Johnny Berlin (6)
- Letters (20)
- Marketing (21)
- McSweeney's (5)
- Miscellany (6)
- Monologues (4)
- New York (24)
- Noble Experiments (10)
- Others (8)
- Parody (11)
- People (15)
- Photos (2)
- Playmobil (6)
- Politics (30)
- Profiles (2)
- Radar (5)
- Rants (10)
- Reviews (5)
- Satire (103)
- Spying (4)
- Television (11)
- The Independent (9)
- Thoughts (23)
- Travel (60)
- Work (72)
Banterist is licensed under a Creative Commons License and is powered by Movable Type 4.21-en. The site is pretty because Nick Aster made it that way.
© 2003-2008 Brian Sack. All rights reserved.
Where've
we been?
NPR • WBCN • Mancow • Fox & Friends • CBS Up To The Minute • The Jay Thomas Show • WJIM • WOCM • CW 11 • The
Guardian • USA
Today • Boing Boing • Daybreak USA • Fusion • New York
Daily News • Canada National Post • KIRO • Radar • McSweeney's • The
Independent • Glamour • MSNBC.com • FARK • Glenn Beck program • New York
Post Page Six • BBC Radio • Gawker • Defamer
• CNN.com • Cracked • New
Zealand Herald • Irish
Independent • Weekend America and other fine media outlets.
Subscribe to Feed
Comments
We have a really good IT here. I've yet to get a single piece of Spam. I feel kind of left out.
Posted by: Scott Biear | October 24, 2003 10:14 AM
My ISP wants me to pay an extra $3 per month for them to filter out the spam that floods my account all day - everyday. If I received 51 pieces of junk mail I'd be relieved. My POP account is setting astonishing records lately. Generally I receive 189+ pieces of spam everyday. Last week, while on holiday in North Carolina, I checked my email after a mere four days absence and there were 809 pieces of junk in my mailbox! For Christ's sake! I think my ISP would filter out this crap on its own since it's clogging up their server...paying extra for it seems stupid since Yahoo does it for free. Oh, whatever!
Posted by: nix | January 1, 2004 7:36 PM