Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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The Apple iPad

ipad.jpg
Meet iPad, the newest innovation from Apple, designed exclusively for your dad.
With its minimal learning curve, iPad eliminates the potential for trouble and helps your dad answer those recurring questions once and for all. Say goodbye to Where did the browser go? How does this shut off? and Why is it asking me for a password? With iPad, that won’t happen. Ever. Because iPad was engineered with ease of use in mind. That means less frustration for your dad, and less time spent coaching him on force-quitting Internet Explorer.
iPad maximizes productivity. Since there’s no cursor, your dad won’t spend seven minutes searching for it.
iPad comes in two colors: white and yellow, and two styles: regular and college rule. The wide range of third-party pens and pencils means your dad can accessorize iPad exactly to his tastes. No iPad is the same, except for the ones that are!
iPad Features:
Ease of Use
iPad’s operating system eliminates the confusion of folders and disk hierarchies. Retrieving files no longer involves calling you for help. Instead, your dad simply has to check his jacket pocket.
Unlimited Storage Capacity
iPad can be placed in a desk, briefcase or glove compartment.
Word Processing
Your dad will be up and running instantly with iPad’s powerful word processing system. iWrite is completely user-friendly and relies on your dad’s own handwriting recognition capabilities. iWrite is capable of handling any language, any font, any time.
Graphic Design
Every iPad comes with the ability to draw pictures – limited only by your dad’s creativity and skill.
Scheduling
iPad’s scheduling system is easy to use. Your dad simply writes down where he has to be and at what time. Then he looks at his watch to determine what time he should leave to get there.
Communication
Whether your dad wants to reach a friend across the street or across the globe, all he has to do is compose his message, place it in an iVelope, drive to the Post Office and send it.
Powerful Internet Connectivity
No.
iPad Requirements:
Flat surface
Lead or ink


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