Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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An Aimless Life?

Recently one of my brothers sent me a link to a website where you are supposed to list your top 50 goals in life both for yourself and as an inspiration to others. Here, in no particular order, are some of mine:
Invent a word & get it listed in the Common Oxford English Dictionary.
Learn to fly a helicopter.
Take magic mushrooms (again).
Learn to sing.
Fake my own death.
Start smoking again. It’s great.
Live to see faster than light travel proven possible.
Eat in a Michelin 3 star restaurant.
Write a fan letter.
Be the Band.
Prove you all wrong.
Invent something useful to more than 100 people.
Learn to speak Latin fluently.
Eat an endangered species.
Write a creepy, stalkerish fan letter.
Go to the Far East.
Teach the entire world the difference between irony, sarcasm & cynicism.
Make politicians understand that criticism is a good thing and not to be feared.
Get somebody else to pay for it.
Always speak freely.
Vote for someone I actually believe in.
Stop smoking again. Sigh.
Drive faster than 200 miles per hour.
Laugh in the face of adversity.
Get smart.
Make people stop confusing solemnity with wisdom.
Insult someone in Latin.
Never lick a stamp again.
Really understand Hex.
Live to see it proven that we are not alone.
Write a Batman story.
Get a Batman story published.
Write my own obituary.
Drink from the skulls of my enemies.
Sell the Eiffel Tower.
Commit the perfect crime.
Nearly meet David Bowie.


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