Banterist

From New York, original humor writing & commentary by Brian Sack. Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

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ABCs of the MTA

A is for Audible, which most announcements are not.
B is for the Batteries, which for a dollar can be bought.
C is for the Chivalry the elderly must miss.
D is for Dirty, as in stairwell filled with piss.
E is for Express train, to get you on your way.
F is for Fifteen, as in minutes of delay.
G is for the Green light the conductor’s waiting for.
H is for Held up, because some schmuck’s half in the door.
I is for the Indigent’s rehearsed pleas for some cash.
J is for the Jumbo lady’s three-seat-taking ass.
K is for the Kids who think it’s fun to surf the trains.
L is for the Lousy job of gathering their remains.
M is for the Metrocard, of which I have a ton.
N is for Not knowing how much money’s on each one.
O is for the Odor you can’t escape when cars are packed.
P is for the Posters read so eyes don’t make contact.
Q is for the Quest to find the one car that has seats.
R is for Re-routing trains to stops on other streets.
S as in Stand-clear-the-doors, the mantra that they chant.
T is for Times Square Station: avoid, unless you can’t.
U for Union workers manning booths that needed closing.
V for all the Vitriol they spewed just for proposing.
W for the Wanderers who travel car to car en masse.
X is for X-rated comments scratched into the glass.
Y for ‘Your attention please’; precursor to bad news.
Z for Zonked-out drug addict; missing several teeth, and shoes.


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